What kind of a world am I bringing this baby into?
I am 37 weeks and the practice contractions are practicing harder and harder every day. And as they get more intense, so does the news. More positive COVID tests in Nebraska. The first death in the county next to us. Visitor restrictions tighten up even tighter at the hospital where I will deliver.
My parents can’t bring my other kids up to the hospital to meet their new baby brother. My in-laws won’t meet their 16th grandbaby right away. And even though my children are blessed to have 6 great-grandparents still living, we may not get the special newborn photos of 4 generations in one shot that I was hoping for. This baby is going to get held up to our window a lot instead of getting snuggles from our family. Disappointing for sure.
But the disappointments don’t have anything on the fears. What if the number of cases in my area suddenly explodes? What if my hospital gets overrun and is forced to restrict dads from being present at the birth? What if Stu misses this? What if I have to do this alone?
What if I have the virus and don’t know it yet? Will I be able to labor ok if I develop respiratory problems? Will I unknowingly pass it on to the staff? To my family? To my baby? What if my kids give it to my parents?
What if one of the midwives or nurses has it and we pick it up at the hospital? Am I going to be safe? Is my baby going to be safe?
What kind of world am I bringing this baby into?
A world of isolation. Of sickness and death. It feels cold and unfeeling. It feels like the whole world has suddenly changed.
But then, I realized that as much as the world has changed in the last few weeks, it really hasn’t changed at all. I am not the first mother to wonder what kind of a world I’m bringing my baby into.
The mamas of this year’s graduating seniors brought their babies into a post 9-11 world. Generations of mamas have brought babies into war time. This is not the world’s first pandemic. Sickness, death, and suffering are not a new addition to the world.
No, I am not the first mama to worry about the world she is bringing her baby into. Do you know who probably was? Eve. The first mom.
If anyone knew what a perfect world was, it was Eve. She had never known a world with sickness, suffering, evil, or death. But when she gave birth to her children, the world was not as she knew it should be.The perfect world she once knew was now broken.
But there was a promise. It was Jesus. And it still is Jesus.
He’s the One who will make all of this right. He’s the One who knows how this ends. And if my very worst fears come true, He’s the One who will be with me, walking me through it. Maybe even taking us home.
Take heart, mamas. There is trouble in this world. But Jesus has overcome it. And in Him, we will, too.